1. |
Jackie Wants to Be a Cop
01:10
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Jackie wants to be a cop, to bust some bad dudes
She thinks it's a great idea but Roseanne doesn't approve-
She took that dream, she stomped it, kicked it in the gutter
So now they're in a tiff and Jackie's really drunk
But she knows how to prove herself: beat Rosie up!
It's the grudge match we've all been waiting for
Lanford PD: meet Jackie
Soon to be on duty/deputy
As it turns out, Rosie's just concerned
She's afraid that Jackie will end up getting hurt
But for once Jackie wants to feel like Rosie's on her side
Talk it out, talk it out, that's what sisters do
Hug it out, don't pout, put an end to this feud
Jackie's jazzed and gonna make it happen this time
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2. |
One Night Stand
01:14
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One Night Stand!
Jackie ran into Gary and his new fiance
drinking at the Lobo, now she's not okay
In an act of desperation, drunken vulnerability,
Jackie hooked up with fucking gross and nasty Arnie
She's 36 years old with flabby arm and pelican neck
She thinks that no one loves her and all her plants are dead
Roseanne, Anne Marie, Crystal, and Bonnie
Can't believe that Jackie would stoop so low to sleep with Arnie
"I wanna drive the big rigs"
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3. |
The Lanford Lunchbox
00:57
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It's Jackie's idea and Nancy's found the place
Bev's got the dough and DJ's got the name
The Lanford Lunchbox, you're in for a treat
The Lanford Lunchbox, if you're craving loose meat
Roseanne wants something to show for her life
Besides stretch marks and being Dan's wife
Fruity yet bovine, an impudent little sandwich
The Conner's last chance to get filthy rich
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4. |
Stash from the Past
01:06
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They've got the house to themselves
and what they thought was David's stash
Rosie's feeling nostalgic, Dan is searching for his past
Mary Jane, weed, stick, dope, call it what you like
Dan, Roseanne, and Jackie know what they're doing tonight
Getting high in the bathroom
Roseanne told Dan to ditch the dope
20 years ago
When Roseanne was having Becky but Dan couldn't let it go
So now they're ready to feel young
and Dan has the stuff
holed up in the bathroom, looks like Jackie's had enough of...
Dip into a stash from the past to reclaim your waning youth
A stash from the past but it didn't work for you
A stash from the past
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5. |
Damagin' Dan
00:58
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He's pushing through the blitz like a fucking freight train
mowing kids down left and right, he can't be tamed
25 years later, he's still the fucking man
That's why we all call him Damagin' Dan
Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
Damagin' Dan! Damagin' Dan!
Best lineman in all the land!
Class of '68!
Went All-State!
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6. |
Bingo Bonanza
01:00
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Girls' night out, it's Crystal's pick
She wants to hang down at St. Benedict's
Bingo Bonanza!
At first Roseanne thought it was dumb
That's until she won 50 bucks!
B-I-N-G-O
Rosie's got her cards, now she's ready to go!
Bingo addiction!
Now Arnie's calling numbers, man, it's super lame
He'll never get to call another game
Bingo Bonanza!
Put another Troll doll in front of your spot
Counting all your cards, how many you got?
BINGO!
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7. |
Lights Out, Make Out
00:49
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The bill wasn't paid - it was due on Friday
The check didn't make it in time, so now the Conners have no lights
Lights out, make out!
That's what Dan and Roseanne think
But David fell asleep
In the morning, out he'll sneak
He can't fool me!
David's here to work with Darlene on the comic book
No lights? Yeah, right!
Dan and Rosie know it's...
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8. |
It's Time
00:55
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Becky's 17 and she thinks she's in love
She wants birth control, Roseanne thinks she's too young, but
It's time!
Time to make an appointment with Rosie's gyno
Rosie wants to talk to Dan but he doesn't want to know
It's time
Time
time
time
time
tiiiiiiimmmmmeeee
time
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9. |
||||
Awwwww, DJ let it slip that they're throwing a soiree
Dan & Darlene made a deal for Darlene's special day
Just play along, it's for your mom
Darlene
Sweet 16
White Trash Debutante Ball
A birthday to top them all
So now it's the big night, she's officially 16
Jokes on her, there's no party, they just want her to leave!
Your friends await your movie/pizza date
Happy day
Now go away
Hap
py
Birth
day
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10. |
Monument Street Bridge
00:34
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12 long years have passed
But Crystal still feels sad
every time
she gets a ride
over that concrete pad
Monument Street Bridge
That's where Sonny is
His foot slipped
While building it
And then he fell in
Crystal's feeling down
That Sonny slept around
While they were wed
Took girls to bed
All over the town
Buried in his work
She's over that jerk
Crystal's moving on!
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