714 Delaware Street

by Dan Conner

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Watch the following super-sweet episodes to get the references in the following super-rad songs:

"Fisher is an Asshole (and I Beat the Shit Out of Assholes)" or "Bail Me Out, Darlene" - S5E13-14
"Conner the Bomber" - S2E01
"DJ Got Caught Masturbating" - S6E07
"The Lobo" - S1E09
"David Had a Sex Dream About Roseanne" - S7E05
"Two Beckys" - well, seasons 5-9 is where this makes sense, so that, I guess
"Jackie Needs to Step Up to the Plate and Call Auntie Barbara (Dad's Dead)" - S5E16
"DJ Stole the Car" - S6E11
"714 Delaware (It's Dan)" - pretty much the whole show


released July 1, 2012

Dan- drums and vocals
Dan- guitars and vocals

Recorded by Shane N and Aaron J @ BigAssKnife




all rights reserved


Dan Conner Columbus, Ohio

We're Dan and Dan and this is Dan Conner.

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Track Name: Fisher is an Asshole (And I Beat the Shit Out of Assholes) or Bail Me Out, Darlene
Listen here, asshole!
Let's get one thing straight:
You hit my fucking sister,
I punch you in the face!

Fisher is an asshole!
I beat the shit out of assholes!

You're a fucking dick!
You're not a real man!
You think I hit hard?
Hahaha just wait for Roseanne!
Track Name: Conner the Bomber
Today's the big day, the student council speech
With Jimmy Meltrigger, Becky's flavor of the week
Diane "the Schnoz" Barelli had a ringside seat
to the event of the century when Becky cut the cheese!

They call her
Conner the Bomber!

When Becky cut the cheese!

So you made a little boombie in front of everyone
but Jimmy doesn't care, so go have fun!
Don't let a little fart ruin your life,
It's just your Barry Watnik, it'll be alright!

Becky is Conner the Bomber!
Forever remembered as Conner the Bomber, yeah!
Track Name: DJ Got Caught Masturbating (I'm Proud Of You, But Not For This)
I'm proud of you, but not for this!

Everybody does it but nobody talks about it, Deej!
In the privacy of your own room, crank it as you please!

You got caught with your pants down, that's part of growing up.
It's okay to masturbate or have a raging chub!
Track Name: The Lobo
The working day ticks away, the end is drawing near
Grab Rosie and Jackie and head to the Lobo to case a couple of beers!

Let's hit the Lobo, yeah!

Four beers in, let the fun begin! The tension's getting high
The Billiard Bully is on the prowl, but I'll get him next time

Lobo, Lobo
Track Name: David Had A Sex Dream About Roseanne
Confided in Fake Becky but she didn't understand
He had a sexy dream, but the dream was about Roseanne!
And now Mark's pissed because he's confused, too
He thinks David likes Becky; if he only knew!

David had a sex dream about Roseanne!
David had a sex dream about Mrs. Conner!
David, Roseanne
Getting down and dirty, making David a man!
David, Roseanne
Rocking Rosie's world, just like Dan!

Dan says he's a perfectly healthy adolescent lad
to think nothing of the dream, not to overreact
He knows it's just a thing that happens, even though it's wrong
because he once had a dream about Roseanne's mom (gross!)

And now it's really weird...
Track Name: Two Beckys
Two Beckys! Two Beckys!

For five fantastic years we had our Becky One
But then in season six, out of the blue, some new girl came along

And now there's...

So now there's Becky Two, it's so hard to keep track
Once I'm finally used to this new girl, Becky One comes back

And now there's...
Track Name: Jackie Needs To Step Up To The Plate And Call Auntie Barbara (Dad's Dead)
Dad is dead
He's dead
He's passed away
He's dead

Call Auntie Barbara
Track Name: DJ Stole the Car
...all available units, be on the lookout: young caucasian male, dark hair, resembling Eddie Munster...

Phoned into dispatch a 1099
These things seem to happen to the Conners all the time
Called in for backup on a 1057 (good man!)
Doesn't look like DJ will live to see 11 (because)

DJ stole the car
DJ hit the road
DJ stole the car
Now the car, it must be towed!

DJ took the car in the middle of the night
Crashed it in a ditch, fucked up the door and one headlight
Roseanne had a talk with him and took it too far
But he won't get away scott free, he stole the fucking car!

Track Name: 714 Delaware (It's Dan)
Riding on his bike now
It's Dan!
Probably gonna fight now
It's Dan!
Everything's alright now
It's Dan!
Who's the fucking man now?
It's Dan!

714 Delaware!

Putting up the drywall
It's Dan!
Affinity for football?
It's Dan!
Who's in charge here?
It's Dan!
Actually it's Roseanne
Not Dan!